The Lord has been with me through many trials and struggles in my life. Many aren’t aware of
my “trials” because, I’ve never shared this testimony with the public. But, the Lord has
impressed upon my heart that there may be others who need to read my testimony. I am one
who needs a Savior. I have read many washed down testimonies and felt like they left out a lot.
I feel like sometimes we leave out certain “details” that may be the very “details” others need to
read or hear. These minor “details” will connect us with another person. So, forgive me if this
tends to be too long but, there is so much involved.
After I signed my papers of divorced in January of 2001, I felt so free. I was able to take my
children to church on Sabbath without having to argue it out with my “husband”. I had wanted to
go on a vegetarian diet for many years and now that we were separated there was nothing that
would separate me from my dearest desire as a woman and a mother. This desire was to finally
walk with Christ. To have a relationship with Him, that would lift up my sadness. I was looking
forward to finally taking that breathe of fresh air, spiritual fresh air.
I remember during the first two months of 2001, it had rained quite a bit. As my two children, at
the time, were asleep I snuck outside just to drench myself in this pure rain. I remember feeling
as though I had received more than just a physical rain but, a spiritual rain also. I cried so much
in the rain asking for help. I was free from my responsibilities as a wife. But, now I had to deal
with a whole new set of responsibilities. I just wanted to better the lives for the children and
myself. The next few weeks I felt like I was walking on “Cloud #9” with the Lord. I got up every
morning before the sun would come up and would study the Bible for a couple of hours at least.
The children and I began a vegetarian diet and they actually loved it. I was becoming calmer
and wanted to be a great mother and I was doing a great job doing so. I felt as if nothing could
push me off this incandescent feeling I was experiencing.
Surely, I wasn’t prepared for what was going to happen to me. At the moment, I had only two
kids not, three. So, my two eldest went to visit their father. Now keep in mind that I felt I was so
solid in the foundation of Christ, that nothing…absolutely nothing would shake me. Well, my
children got back from their father’s home in California. Please understand that this is a very
hard story to write so, for the privacy of my family, I will be limited as to what I will share in this
portion of the story. I am a mother and protecting my children is my priority. My son tells me that
his father had hurt him while on their visit. I was so upset and bewildered as to why the Lord
allow such a thing to occur. Suddenly I was shaken and my solid foundation crumbled instantly.
I won’t repeat what I said out loud to the Lord, for I know that he must have felt the pain in His
heart. I know my guardian angel must have wept great tears with what I was saying. I was so
angry. I thought, here I was doing what He asked of me and yet He couldn’t even prevent this
from happening! I didn’t feel betrayed by another human. I felt betrayed by a Loving God.
It’s amazing how Satan seems to see the tiniest crack in your walk with the Lord and does
everything to pry it open and cause a great barrier between God and His children. Well, he
certainly did so in my case. The bitterness and anger that grew within my heart became so
overwhelming that I finally decided that if the Lord couldn’t take care of my children and secure
them within His arms, then surely I had to take charge. Please understand I am not praising this
type of thinking at all. I am just trying to let you in to how I was feeling. I am sure that many have
felt this way…many times. Anyhow, I put my foot down and decided that I was going to find God
somewhere else. I read a lot of material that I knew what wrong. It’s always interesting how
selfish and rebellious we become with anger. Even hearing the small still voice of the Lord
saying…don’t read that, I would purposely read it. I knew it was wrong and many of the articles
made me cringe at their explanation of life but, I still kept feeding this garbage to my soul. After
many websites, I came across an occult practice known as Wicca. It’s a form of witchcraft. But, it’
s known as “white magic”, which according to the term is not as bad as black magic. A bit of
trickery of words if you ask me. But, at the moment I bought the idea and let it in. I never got
into the real practice of this magic but, I did feed my brain many things that should have not even
been looked upon. “For what we behold, we become changed”. Many have heard this saying
but, do we truly really understand the depth of the phrase?
It seemed almost overnight that I began to hear voices. It was strange voices that I had never
heard before in my life. I remember I would try and focus in on this conversation going on in my
mind but, I couldn’t seem to understand the words. I remember hearing these voices laugh and
a particular voice of a woman laughing wickedly. So, many times I would ask my sister or my
mother what was so funny. I would accuse them of the spontaneous laughing but, they seemed
dumbfounded as to my accusations, since they weren’t laughing at all. At approximately the
same time, I started to fall asleep a lot during the day. It was uncontrollable sleeping spells. It
was out of my control and soon I started taking “meds” for this excessive daytime sleepiness. I
couldn’t function at all. I would wake up in the morning and fall asleep within half an hour of
awakening. This became my schedule. I would wake up for 30 minutes, go to sleep for 2 hours,
wake up for 30 minutes, then go back to sleep for 2 hours, etc… Literally this lack of energy
took control of my life. I was unfocused and couldn’t comprehend simple things. I couldn’t
concentrate on a conversation of any kind. As I heard these voices, I began thinking that
perhaps I was going crazy. I literally considered checking myself into a psych ward since; it was
getting worse every day. I got to the point that I didn’t acknowledge people who were talking to
me because, I got used to the fact that it was the voices in my head. Does that make sense?
After speaking to my parents, we prayed and tried to figure out what to do with this condition.
Keep in mind that I hadn’t told my parents of my recent studies in Wicca. So, they were literally
confused as to what was going on with their daughter.
It didn’t stop there, friends. Soon, I began feeling “something” touch me throughout the day,
particularly before I would fall asleep. I would have anxiety attacks in bed that paralyzed me and
I was unable to move. I wouldn’t be able to talk or scream for help. But, I would feel my body
being touched by something, similar to human hands. I would feel the presence of something
over me and around me. I would even be able to hear “breathing” of some kind near my neck
and face. I can distinctly remember that I continually heard “Don’t go there…” in my mind. The
Lord was continually warning me to not go there and read that article. Finally, I got to the point
where I started considering my actions and all my anger. At this point, I began letting in the Lord
into my heart again. But, I didn’t truly break down and repent just yet. Next, I remember not
being able to fall asleep one night. I was of course on the internet chatting and I start hearing
screams of pain and torture. They were screams that you would hear from somebody being hurt
incredibly bad, shrieking screams. I ran into my parent’s room, waking them up as I ran into
their room. I honestly thought something was wrong with my parents. When I realized they were
okay, I asked them to pray with me. Now always remember Satan doesn’t give up anybody unto
the Kingdom of Heaven. A few nights after this experience, I experienced something even
scarier. I woke up in the middle of the night. When I glanced at my nightstand I saw a swirling
column of smoke. I ran upstairs and woke up my parents at about 2am in the morning. They
prayed with me at that time. It was evident in my mind now that the Lord was still holding onto
me, this sinner who He loved so dearly. I broke down the next few days and asked the Lord to
restore me unto His fold. I repented of these actions with all my heart. Surely, everything was
fine right?
Not all was fine. Always remember if Satan can’t get you one way, he will be sure to try and
manage to get to you another way. I began getting sick. I would fall asleep but, not really be
asleep. I would be stuck in a different state of sleep. I was alert and could hear what was going
on around me. I could hear others (my family) while they conversed together. But, I couldn’t
wake up. I was stuck in this state in which I was terrified, cold, and cornered. I remember
specifically being terrified because; it felt so dark, where my mind was at that moment. No matter
how much I tried to wake myself out of this state, I couldn’t. In fact, many of my family members
would notice that I would begin twitching and shaking in my sleep. I would even begin to whimper
and literally cry tears down my cheek. Their attempts to wake me up wouldn’t work. I was
literally stuck in this state. It’s hard to describe but, those of you who have experienced this type
of phenomenon, know exactly what I’m talking about. During the same time, I began feeling
exhausted and weaker. Soon I would be diagnosed with an “unexplained” Iron deficiency
Anemia. I started collapsing due to my weakness. Friends, so much happened to my health. All
a result of anger and rebellion, it truly is a shame. I was soon diagnosed with “Narcolepsy with
Cataplexy.” **If any of you happen to have been diagnosed with this illness please email me
personally. I would love to let you know what I am doing in order to be able to control this
problem. Please email me at Wishingdove@aol.com . After much medication, research, and
prayer is more of a spiritual problem, if you want my opinion. My opinion is completely based on
my personal experiences.
The part that was the hardest for me to overcome was the guilt factor. You see, Jesus always
forgives us our trespasses so long as we repent. But, we have a great enemy who makes sure
to make our hearts feel heavy with guilt. If we are burdened with guilt, we can’t get close to
Christ. In a way, if we allow the guilt to eat away at us; we are in a way stating Christ’s sacrifice
isn’t sufficient for us. If that’s the case, then this is all a waste of time. Right? But, Jesus was
the perfect sacrifice! Satan would make me feel worthless and ugly. I went into this depression
that would last about 7 years. I didn’t want to go to church since; I didn’t feel worthy to even
attend. I didn’t want to engage in family activities because, I felt disconnected to everything.
Everything except the guilt. So many times I would pray to the Lord to help me forgive myself
but, I just couldn’t. I knew that I had rebelled against the Almighty. I knew what I had done. I
knew that I was wrong. I knew that I had rejected His soft, still voice so many times. I knew I was
wrong in everything I had felt. But, I just couldn’t find myself worthy of the Cross.
I can’t remember exactly when it happened. I had decided that I wanted to go to church. I took
my kids (now three kids), to church. They enjoyed it greatly. I felt so moved by the sermons that
I would end up in tears. I felt the Lord speaking to my heart. It didn’t happen immediately. But,
slowly the next year would be a turnaround in my life. I began associating myself with positive
people in church. They actually seemed to want to talk with me. Of course, I will be the first to
admit that there are “fakers” and “hypocrites” out in the church. But, ALL churches have them.
They are positioned there by our enemy, to turn us away! But, if you take the time to filter the
people, you will always find real “treasures” in the church group.
Now behind the stage, I was beginning to realize that the scary movies weren’t the best for my
mind. The rock music wasn’t the best for my mind. I had flooded my mind with so much
negativity that I had literally drowned my own soul in this darkness. It was a hard thing to stop
listening to my music. I had very liberal parents and was allowed to listen to anything and
everything. So, I always found a dark relieve in music. But, when I finally stopped listening to
the stuff, I began to heal. Movies were fairly easy for me to give up. But, I did struggle with the
music. I would justify as much of it as I could. I remember my favorite band had “angels” in the
name of the band. I would literally, argue with others about the band. Surely, if it had “angels” in
their name, they couldn’t be too bad. One day as I was listening to the music in my car, the Lord
impressed me to really listen to the lyrics. The profanity in the songs stuck out like never
before. I made the decision to just get it over with and throw away the CD’s. I started feeling
better. Of course I still had many ailments I was dealing with for the next 2 years. I had blood
transfusions, iron transfusions, tests, etc… but, as crazy as it sounds, I was feeling better. With
this Narcolepsy I was put on amphetamines, to control “episodes”. This of course led to an
addiction for this medication. An addiction I would spend another year fighting to wean off.
Friends, rebellion isn’t worth all these obstacles. I won’t inundate you with the list of “problems” I
deal with daily regarding my health. I will tell you that Christ is so reaching out His arms to you.
He loves you with the purest love ever to be felt. He wants to heal you and make you feel
better. He knows your pain and trials. I remember specifically a passage that was the first to
change my mentality. Allow me to provide it for you below.
“Many, walking along the path of life, dwell upon their mistakes and failures and
disappointments, and their hearts are filled with grief and discouragement. While I was in
Europe, a sister who had been doing this, and who was in deep distress, wrote to me, asking for
some word of encouragement. The night after I had read her letter I dreamed that I was in a
garden, and one who seemed to be the owner of the garden was conducting me through its
paths. I was gathering the flowers and enjoying their fragrance, when this sister, who had been
walking by my side, called my attention to some unsightly briers that were impeding her way.
There she was mourning and grieving. She was not walking in the pathway, following the guide,
but was walking among the briers and thorns. "Oh," she mourned, "is it not a pity that this
beautiful garden is spoiled with thorns?" Then the guide said, "Let the thorns alone, for they will
only wound you. Gather the roses, the lilies, and the pinks."
Have there not been some bright spots in your experience? Have you not had some precious
seasons when your heart throbbed with joy in response to the Spirit of God? When you look
back into the chapters of your life experience do you not find some pleasant pages? Are not
God's promises, like the fragrant flowers, growing beside your path on every hand? Will you not
let their beauty and sweetness fill your heart with joy?
The briers and thorns will only wound and grieve you; and if you gather only these things, and
present them to others, are you not, besides slighting the goodness of God yourself, preventing
those around you from walking in the path of life?
It is not wise to gather together all the unpleasant recollections of a past life,—its iniquities and
disappointments,—to talk over them and mourn over them until we are overwhelmed with
discouragement. A discouraged soul is filled with darkness, shutting out the light of God from his
own soul and casting a shadow upon the pathway of others
Thank God for the bright pictures which He has presented to us. Let us group together the
blessed assurances of His love, that we may look upon them continually: The Son of God leaving
His Father's throne, clothing His divinity with humanity, that He might rescue man from the power
of Satan; His triumph in our behalf, opening heaven to men, revealing to human vision the
presence chamber where the Deity unveils His glory; the fallen race uplifted from the pit of ruin
into which sin had plunged it, and brought again into connection with the infinite God, and having
endured the divine test through faith in our Redeemer, clothed in the righteousness of Christ,
and exalted to His throne—these are the pictures which God would have us contemplate.” (Steps
to Christ p.117-118)
Friend, this whole world is filled with negativity. Movies, music, conversations, news, magazines,
etc… All are focused on dark things. When we completely understand these things and the
controversy of good vs. evil we realize that we have flooded ourselves with darkness. I had
enough of it and turned to Christ. Now, I am finally relying on a better diet, daily study of the
Word, continual prayer, ministries, and attempting to praise Him for what He has done for me.
God is so good to us. Surely, if anything I have learned a few things. The first major lesson I
understood is that nothing is coincidence. Such a word as this doesn’t exist in my vocabulary. I
have even “banned” it from our home. Coincidence is a very dangerous term. I would rather live
with the concept that the Lord’s will is what we tend to experience, not a coincidence. God puts
us in other’s lives for a reason. He also places people in our lives for a reason. Nothing is
better than the Lord’s timing for His timing is perfect! I also learned that the Lord never works as
we expect Him to, or even how we would like him to in our lives. I am convinced that when we
experience these hard obstacles in life, it is for a reason. Remember, the Lord is the refiner of
silver and gold. These metals can only be purified by extreme heat. But, what’s interesting is
that once the metal is purified, then the refiner can see his reflection in it. Have you ever looked
at a silver spoon and saw your reflection in it? That is exactly what the Lord is doing to us. He is
ready to come soon and He is refining like never before. But, it’s not to torture us or make our
lives miserable. It’s because, He loves you that much that He wants you to spend Eternity with
Him. Remember the key with refining such metals is the heat and cooling down process. Just as
the refiner knows what heat would be too hot for the metal, and would ruin it; so does the Lord
know your limits. Think positive! Jesus died for you and He loves you so dearly. It is my prayer
that my testimony has helped you in some way. May the Lord rain showers of blessings upon
you and your family.
my “trials” because, I’ve never shared this testimony with the public. But, the Lord has
impressed upon my heart that there may be others who need to read my testimony. I am one
who needs a Savior. I have read many washed down testimonies and felt like they left out a lot.
I feel like sometimes we leave out certain “details” that may be the very “details” others need to
read or hear. These minor “details” will connect us with another person. So, forgive me if this
tends to be too long but, there is so much involved.
After I signed my papers of divorced in January of 2001, I felt so free. I was able to take my
children to church on Sabbath without having to argue it out with my “husband”. I had wanted to
go on a vegetarian diet for many years and now that we were separated there was nothing that
would separate me from my dearest desire as a woman and a mother. This desire was to finally
walk with Christ. To have a relationship with Him, that would lift up my sadness. I was looking
forward to finally taking that breathe of fresh air, spiritual fresh air.
I remember during the first two months of 2001, it had rained quite a bit. As my two children, at
the time, were asleep I snuck outside just to drench myself in this pure rain. I remember feeling
as though I had received more than just a physical rain but, a spiritual rain also. I cried so much
in the rain asking for help. I was free from my responsibilities as a wife. But, now I had to deal
with a whole new set of responsibilities. I just wanted to better the lives for the children and
myself. The next few weeks I felt like I was walking on “Cloud #9” with the Lord. I got up every
morning before the sun would come up and would study the Bible for a couple of hours at least.
The children and I began a vegetarian diet and they actually loved it. I was becoming calmer
and wanted to be a great mother and I was doing a great job doing so. I felt as if nothing could
push me off this incandescent feeling I was experiencing.
Surely, I wasn’t prepared for what was going to happen to me. At the moment, I had only two
kids not, three. So, my two eldest went to visit their father. Now keep in mind that I felt I was so
solid in the foundation of Christ, that nothing…absolutely nothing would shake me. Well, my
children got back from their father’s home in California. Please understand that this is a very
hard story to write so, for the privacy of my family, I will be limited as to what I will share in this
portion of the story. I am a mother and protecting my children is my priority. My son tells me that
his father had hurt him while on their visit. I was so upset and bewildered as to why the Lord
allow such a thing to occur. Suddenly I was shaken and my solid foundation crumbled instantly.
I won’t repeat what I said out loud to the Lord, for I know that he must have felt the pain in His
heart. I know my guardian angel must have wept great tears with what I was saying. I was so
angry. I thought, here I was doing what He asked of me and yet He couldn’t even prevent this
from happening! I didn’t feel betrayed by another human. I felt betrayed by a Loving God.
It’s amazing how Satan seems to see the tiniest crack in your walk with the Lord and does
everything to pry it open and cause a great barrier between God and His children. Well, he
certainly did so in my case. The bitterness and anger that grew within my heart became so
overwhelming that I finally decided that if the Lord couldn’t take care of my children and secure
them within His arms, then surely I had to take charge. Please understand I am not praising this
type of thinking at all. I am just trying to let you in to how I was feeling. I am sure that many have
felt this way…many times. Anyhow, I put my foot down and decided that I was going to find God
somewhere else. I read a lot of material that I knew what wrong. It’s always interesting how
selfish and rebellious we become with anger. Even hearing the small still voice of the Lord
saying…don’t read that, I would purposely read it. I knew it was wrong and many of the articles
made me cringe at their explanation of life but, I still kept feeding this garbage to my soul. After
many websites, I came across an occult practice known as Wicca. It’s a form of witchcraft. But, it’
s known as “white magic”, which according to the term is not as bad as black magic. A bit of
trickery of words if you ask me. But, at the moment I bought the idea and let it in. I never got
into the real practice of this magic but, I did feed my brain many things that should have not even
been looked upon. “For what we behold, we become changed”. Many have heard this saying
but, do we truly really understand the depth of the phrase?
It seemed almost overnight that I began to hear voices. It was strange voices that I had never
heard before in my life. I remember I would try and focus in on this conversation going on in my
mind but, I couldn’t seem to understand the words. I remember hearing these voices laugh and
a particular voice of a woman laughing wickedly. So, many times I would ask my sister or my
mother what was so funny. I would accuse them of the spontaneous laughing but, they seemed
dumbfounded as to my accusations, since they weren’t laughing at all. At approximately the
same time, I started to fall asleep a lot during the day. It was uncontrollable sleeping spells. It
was out of my control and soon I started taking “meds” for this excessive daytime sleepiness. I
couldn’t function at all. I would wake up in the morning and fall asleep within half an hour of
awakening. This became my schedule. I would wake up for 30 minutes, go to sleep for 2 hours,
wake up for 30 minutes, then go back to sleep for 2 hours, etc… Literally this lack of energy
took control of my life. I was unfocused and couldn’t comprehend simple things. I couldn’t
concentrate on a conversation of any kind. As I heard these voices, I began thinking that
perhaps I was going crazy. I literally considered checking myself into a psych ward since; it was
getting worse every day. I got to the point that I didn’t acknowledge people who were talking to
me because, I got used to the fact that it was the voices in my head. Does that make sense?
After speaking to my parents, we prayed and tried to figure out what to do with this condition.
Keep in mind that I hadn’t told my parents of my recent studies in Wicca. So, they were literally
confused as to what was going on with their daughter.
It didn’t stop there, friends. Soon, I began feeling “something” touch me throughout the day,
particularly before I would fall asleep. I would have anxiety attacks in bed that paralyzed me and
I was unable to move. I wouldn’t be able to talk or scream for help. But, I would feel my body
being touched by something, similar to human hands. I would feel the presence of something
over me and around me. I would even be able to hear “breathing” of some kind near my neck
and face. I can distinctly remember that I continually heard “Don’t go there…” in my mind. The
Lord was continually warning me to not go there and read that article. Finally, I got to the point
where I started considering my actions and all my anger. At this point, I began letting in the Lord
into my heart again. But, I didn’t truly break down and repent just yet. Next, I remember not
being able to fall asleep one night. I was of course on the internet chatting and I start hearing
screams of pain and torture. They were screams that you would hear from somebody being hurt
incredibly bad, shrieking screams. I ran into my parent’s room, waking them up as I ran into
their room. I honestly thought something was wrong with my parents. When I realized they were
okay, I asked them to pray with me. Now always remember Satan doesn’t give up anybody unto
the Kingdom of Heaven. A few nights after this experience, I experienced something even
scarier. I woke up in the middle of the night. When I glanced at my nightstand I saw a swirling
column of smoke. I ran upstairs and woke up my parents at about 2am in the morning. They
prayed with me at that time. It was evident in my mind now that the Lord was still holding onto
me, this sinner who He loved so dearly. I broke down the next few days and asked the Lord to
restore me unto His fold. I repented of these actions with all my heart. Surely, everything was
fine right?
Not all was fine. Always remember if Satan can’t get you one way, he will be sure to try and
manage to get to you another way. I began getting sick. I would fall asleep but, not really be
asleep. I would be stuck in a different state of sleep. I was alert and could hear what was going
on around me. I could hear others (my family) while they conversed together. But, I couldn’t
wake up. I was stuck in this state in which I was terrified, cold, and cornered. I remember
specifically being terrified because; it felt so dark, where my mind was at that moment. No matter
how much I tried to wake myself out of this state, I couldn’t. In fact, many of my family members
would notice that I would begin twitching and shaking in my sleep. I would even begin to whimper
and literally cry tears down my cheek. Their attempts to wake me up wouldn’t work. I was
literally stuck in this state. It’s hard to describe but, those of you who have experienced this type
of phenomenon, know exactly what I’m talking about. During the same time, I began feeling
exhausted and weaker. Soon I would be diagnosed with an “unexplained” Iron deficiency
Anemia. I started collapsing due to my weakness. Friends, so much happened to my health. All
a result of anger and rebellion, it truly is a shame. I was soon diagnosed with “Narcolepsy with
Cataplexy.” **If any of you happen to have been diagnosed with this illness please email me
personally. I would love to let you know what I am doing in order to be able to control this
problem. Please email me at Wishingdove@aol.com . After much medication, research, and
prayer is more of a spiritual problem, if you want my opinion. My opinion is completely based on
my personal experiences.
The part that was the hardest for me to overcome was the guilt factor. You see, Jesus always
forgives us our trespasses so long as we repent. But, we have a great enemy who makes sure
to make our hearts feel heavy with guilt. If we are burdened with guilt, we can’t get close to
Christ. In a way, if we allow the guilt to eat away at us; we are in a way stating Christ’s sacrifice
isn’t sufficient for us. If that’s the case, then this is all a waste of time. Right? But, Jesus was
the perfect sacrifice! Satan would make me feel worthless and ugly. I went into this depression
that would last about 7 years. I didn’t want to go to church since; I didn’t feel worthy to even
attend. I didn’t want to engage in family activities because, I felt disconnected to everything.
Everything except the guilt. So many times I would pray to the Lord to help me forgive myself
but, I just couldn’t. I knew that I had rebelled against the Almighty. I knew what I had done. I
knew that I was wrong. I knew that I had rejected His soft, still voice so many times. I knew I was
wrong in everything I had felt. But, I just couldn’t find myself worthy of the Cross.
I can’t remember exactly when it happened. I had decided that I wanted to go to church. I took
my kids (now three kids), to church. They enjoyed it greatly. I felt so moved by the sermons that
I would end up in tears. I felt the Lord speaking to my heart. It didn’t happen immediately. But,
slowly the next year would be a turnaround in my life. I began associating myself with positive
people in church. They actually seemed to want to talk with me. Of course, I will be the first to
admit that there are “fakers” and “hypocrites” out in the church. But, ALL churches have them.
They are positioned there by our enemy, to turn us away! But, if you take the time to filter the
people, you will always find real “treasures” in the church group.
Now behind the stage, I was beginning to realize that the scary movies weren’t the best for my
mind. The rock music wasn’t the best for my mind. I had flooded my mind with so much
negativity that I had literally drowned my own soul in this darkness. It was a hard thing to stop
listening to my music. I had very liberal parents and was allowed to listen to anything and
everything. So, I always found a dark relieve in music. But, when I finally stopped listening to
the stuff, I began to heal. Movies were fairly easy for me to give up. But, I did struggle with the
music. I would justify as much of it as I could. I remember my favorite band had “angels” in the
name of the band. I would literally, argue with others about the band. Surely, if it had “angels” in
their name, they couldn’t be too bad. One day as I was listening to the music in my car, the Lord
impressed me to really listen to the lyrics. The profanity in the songs stuck out like never
before. I made the decision to just get it over with and throw away the CD’s. I started feeling
better. Of course I still had many ailments I was dealing with for the next 2 years. I had blood
transfusions, iron transfusions, tests, etc… but, as crazy as it sounds, I was feeling better. With
this Narcolepsy I was put on amphetamines, to control “episodes”. This of course led to an
addiction for this medication. An addiction I would spend another year fighting to wean off.
Friends, rebellion isn’t worth all these obstacles. I won’t inundate you with the list of “problems” I
deal with daily regarding my health. I will tell you that Christ is so reaching out His arms to you.
He loves you with the purest love ever to be felt. He wants to heal you and make you feel
better. He knows your pain and trials. I remember specifically a passage that was the first to
change my mentality. Allow me to provide it for you below.
“Many, walking along the path of life, dwell upon their mistakes and failures and
disappointments, and their hearts are filled with grief and discouragement. While I was in
Europe, a sister who had been doing this, and who was in deep distress, wrote to me, asking for
some word of encouragement. The night after I had read her letter I dreamed that I was in a
garden, and one who seemed to be the owner of the garden was conducting me through its
paths. I was gathering the flowers and enjoying their fragrance, when this sister, who had been
walking by my side, called my attention to some unsightly briers that were impeding her way.
There she was mourning and grieving. She was not walking in the pathway, following the guide,
but was walking among the briers and thorns. "Oh," she mourned, "is it not a pity that this
beautiful garden is spoiled with thorns?" Then the guide said, "Let the thorns alone, for they will
only wound you. Gather the roses, the lilies, and the pinks."
Have there not been some bright spots in your experience? Have you not had some precious
seasons when your heart throbbed with joy in response to the Spirit of God? When you look
back into the chapters of your life experience do you not find some pleasant pages? Are not
God's promises, like the fragrant flowers, growing beside your path on every hand? Will you not
let their beauty and sweetness fill your heart with joy?
The briers and thorns will only wound and grieve you; and if you gather only these things, and
present them to others, are you not, besides slighting the goodness of God yourself, preventing
those around you from walking in the path of life?
It is not wise to gather together all the unpleasant recollections of a past life,—its iniquities and
disappointments,—to talk over them and mourn over them until we are overwhelmed with
discouragement. A discouraged soul is filled with darkness, shutting out the light of God from his
own soul and casting a shadow upon the pathway of others
Thank God for the bright pictures which He has presented to us. Let us group together the
blessed assurances of His love, that we may look upon them continually: The Son of God leaving
His Father's throne, clothing His divinity with humanity, that He might rescue man from the power
of Satan; His triumph in our behalf, opening heaven to men, revealing to human vision the
presence chamber where the Deity unveils His glory; the fallen race uplifted from the pit of ruin
into which sin had plunged it, and brought again into connection with the infinite God, and having
endured the divine test through faith in our Redeemer, clothed in the righteousness of Christ,
and exalted to His throne—these are the pictures which God would have us contemplate.” (Steps
to Christ p.117-118)
Friend, this whole world is filled with negativity. Movies, music, conversations, news, magazines,
etc… All are focused on dark things. When we completely understand these things and the
controversy of good vs. evil we realize that we have flooded ourselves with darkness. I had
enough of it and turned to Christ. Now, I am finally relying on a better diet, daily study of the
Word, continual prayer, ministries, and attempting to praise Him for what He has done for me.
God is so good to us. Surely, if anything I have learned a few things. The first major lesson I
understood is that nothing is coincidence. Such a word as this doesn’t exist in my vocabulary. I
have even “banned” it from our home. Coincidence is a very dangerous term. I would rather live
with the concept that the Lord’s will is what we tend to experience, not a coincidence. God puts
us in other’s lives for a reason. He also places people in our lives for a reason. Nothing is
better than the Lord’s timing for His timing is perfect! I also learned that the Lord never works as
we expect Him to, or even how we would like him to in our lives. I am convinced that when we
experience these hard obstacles in life, it is for a reason. Remember, the Lord is the refiner of
silver and gold. These metals can only be purified by extreme heat. But, what’s interesting is
that once the metal is purified, then the refiner can see his reflection in it. Have you ever looked
at a silver spoon and saw your reflection in it? That is exactly what the Lord is doing to us. He is
ready to come soon and He is refining like never before. But, it’s not to torture us or make our
lives miserable. It’s because, He loves you that much that He wants you to spend Eternity with
Him. Remember the key with refining such metals is the heat and cooling down process. Just as
the refiner knows what heat would be too hot for the metal, and would ruin it; so does the Lord
know your limits. Think positive! Jesus died for you and He loves you so dearly. It is my prayer
that my testimony has helped you in some way. May the Lord rain showers of blessings upon
you and your family.
Harry Potter/Twilight/White Magic- Is it safe?
Below is a Testimony sent to us. Just a warning, some
who have read this have had a hard time sleeping.
who have read this have had a hard time sleeping.
Free Book Offer. Learn the very
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character.Billions of dollars have been
poured into the Potter phenomenon
worldwide, yet so much more is at
stake. Learn the very real dangers
behind this popular character
enchanting millions of children with
tales of witchcraft. What does the Bible
say about this kind of entertainment?
Steve Wohlberg.
Email us your shipping address and
your name to tell us what book you
want and it will be mailed out ASAP.
real dangers behind this popular
character.Billions of dollars have been
poured into the Potter phenomenon
worldwide, yet so much more is at
stake. Learn the very real dangers
behind this popular character
enchanting millions of children with
tales of witchcraft. What does the Bible
say about this kind of entertainment?
Steve Wohlberg.
Email us your shipping address and
your name to tell us what book you
want and it will be mailed out ASAP.
Free Book Offer. Darkness of
Twilight, "So what’s the problem? It’s
just fiction!”
First of all, most fiction is not just
fiction, and this is certainly true of
Twilight. Fantasy aside, fiction still
communicates ideas, values, and
messages, and these in turn, affect the
day-to-day activities of readers and
movie watchers. The devil’s wiles are
endless, and he uses seemingly the
most unsuspecting people to
accomplish his deceptions. Don't be
fooled! This pocket sharing book is
enlightening!
Email us your shipping address and
your name to BrokenAdventist@live.
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want and it will be mailed out ASAP.
Twilight, "So what’s the problem? It’s
just fiction!”
First of all, most fiction is not just
fiction, and this is certainly true of
Twilight. Fantasy aside, fiction still
communicates ideas, values, and
messages, and these in turn, affect the
day-to-day activities of readers and
movie watchers. The devil’s wiles are
endless, and he uses seemingly the
most unsuspecting people to
accomplish his deceptions. Don't be
fooled! This pocket sharing book is
enlightening!
Email us your shipping address and
your name to BrokenAdventist@live.
com Be sure to tell us what book you
want and it will be mailed out ASAP.
Free DVD Just send us an email to
BrokenAdventist@live.com and tell us
what DVD you are interested in and we
will get it shipped out to you as soon
as possible. And if you don't want it
free click the link below and it will take
you to AmazingFacts.org where you
can buy it.
BrokenAdventist@live.com and tell us
what DVD you are interested in and we
will get it shipped out to you as soon
as possible. And if you don't want it
free click the link below and it will take
you to AmazingFacts.org where you
can buy it.
Free DVD Just send us an email to
BrokenAdventist@live.com and tell us
what DVD you are interested in and we
will get it shipped out to you as soon
as possible. And if you don't want it
free click the link below and it will take
you to AmazingFacts.org where you
can buy it.
BrokenAdventist@live.com and tell us
what DVD you are interested in and we
will get it shipped out to you as soon
as possible. And if you don't want it
free click the link below and it will take
you to AmazingFacts.org where you
can buy it.
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