The Dangers of White/Black Magic
The Lord has been with me through many trials and struggles in my life. Many aren’t aware of my “trials” because, I’ve never shared this testimony with the public. But, the Lord has impressed upon my heart that there may be others who need to read my testimony. I am one who needs a Savior. I have read many washed down testimonies and felt like they left out a lot. I feel like sometimes we leave out certain “details” that may be the very “details” others need to read or hear. These minor “details” will connect us with another person. So, forgive me if this tends to be too long but, there is so much involved.
After I signed my papers of divorced in January of 2001, I felt so free. I was able to take my children to church on Sabbath without having to argue it out with my “husband”. I had wanted to go on a vegetarian diet for many years and now that we were separated there was nothing that
would separate me from my dearest desire as a woman and a mother. This desire was to finally walk with Christ. To have a relationship with Him, that would lift up my sadness. I was looking forward to finally taking that breathe of fresh air, spiritual fresh air. I remember during the first two months of 2001, it had rained quite a bit. As my two children, at the time, were asleep I sneaked outside just to drench myself in this pure rain. I remember feeling as though I had received more than just a physical rain but, a spiritual rain also. I cried so much in the rain asking for help. I was free from my responsibilities as a wife. But, now I had to deal with a whole new set of responsibilities. I just wanted to better the lives for the children and myself. The next few weeks I felt like I was walking on “Cloud #9” with the Lord. I got up every morning before the sun would come up and would study the Bible for a couple of hours at least. The children and I began a vegetarian diet and they actually loved it. I was becoming calmer and wanted to be a great mother and I was doing a great job doing so. I felt as if nothing could push me off this incandescent feeling I was experiencing. Surely, I wasn’t prepared for what was going to happen to me. At the moment, I had only two kids not, three. So, my two eldest went to visit their father. Now keep in mind that I felt I was so solid in the foundation of Christ, that nothing…absolutely nothing would shake me. Well, my children got back from their father’s home in California. Please understand that this is a very hard story to write so, for the privacy of my family, I will be limited as to what I will share in this portion of the story. I am a mother and protecting my children is my priority. My son tells me that his father had hurt him while on their visit. I was so upset and bewildered as to why the Lord allow such a thing to occur. Suddenly I was shaken and my solid foundation crumbled instantly. I won’t repeat what I said out loud to the Lord, for I know that he must have felt the pain in His heart. I know my guardian angel must have wept great tears with what I was saying. I was so angry. I thought, here I was doing what He asked of me and yet He couldn’t even prevent this from happening! I didn’t feel betrayed by another human. I felt betrayed by a Loving God.
It’s amazing how Satan seems to see the tiniest crack in your walk with the Lord and does everything to pry it open and cause a great barrier between God and His children. Well, he certainly did so in my case. The bitterness and anger that grew within my heart became so overwhelming that I finally decided that if the Lord couldn’t take care of my children and secure them within His arms, then surely I had to take charge. Please understand I am not praising this type of thinking at all. I am just trying to let you in to how I was feeling. I am sure that many have felt this way…many times. Anyhow, I put my foot down and decided that I was going to find God somewhere else. I read a lot of material that I knew what wrong. It’s always interesting how selfish and rebellious we become with anger. Even hearing the small still voice of the Lord saying…don’t read that, I would purposely read it. I knew it was wrong and many of the articles made me cringe at their explanation of life but, I still kept feeding this garbage to my soul. After many websites, I came across an occult practice known as Wicca. It’s a form of witchcraft. But, it’s known as “white magic”, which according to the term is not as bad as black magic. A bit of trickery of words if you ask me. But, at the moment I bought the idea and let it in. I never got into the real practice of this magic but, I did feed my brain many things that should have not even been looked upon. “For what we behold, we become changed”. Many have heard this saying but, do we truly really understand the depth of the phrase?
It seemed almost overnight that I began to hear voices. It was strange voices that I had never heard before in my life. I remember I would try and focus in on this conversation going on in my mind but, I couldn’t seem to understand the words. I remember hearing these voices laugh and a particular voice of a woman laughing wickedly. So, many times I would ask my sister or my mother what was so funny. I would accuse them of the spontaneous laughing but, they seemed dumbfounded as to my accusations, since they weren’t laughing at all. At approximately the same time, I started to fall asleep a lot during the day. It was uncontrollable sleeping spells. It was out of my control and soon I started taking “meds” for this excessive daytime sleepiness. I couldn’t function at all. I would wake up in the morning and fall asleep within half an hour of awakening. This became my schedule. I would wake up for 30 minutes, go to sleep for 2 hours, wake up for 30 minutes, then go back to sleep for 2 hours, etc… Literally this lack of energy took control of my life. I was unfocused and couldn’t comprehend simple things. I couldn’t concentrate on a conversation of any kind. As I heard these voices, I began thinking that perhaps I was going crazy. I literally considered checking myself into a psych ward since; it was getting worse every day. I got to the point that I didn’t acknowledge people who were talking to me because, I got used to the fact that it was the voices in my head. Does that make sense? After speaking to my parents, we prayed and tried to figure out what to do with this condition. Keep in mind that I hadn’t told my parents of my recent studies in Wicca. So, they were literally confused as to what was going on with their daughter.
It didn’t stop there, friends. Soon, I began feeling “something” touch me throughout the day, particularly before I would fall asleep. I would have anxiety attacks in bed that paralyzed me and I was unable to move. I wouldn’t be able to talk or scream for help. But, I would feel my body being touched by something, similar to human hands. I would feel the presence of something over me and around me. I would even be able to hear “breathing” of some kind near my neck and face. I can distinctly remember that I continually heard “Don’t go there…” in my mind. The Lord was continually warning me to not go there and read that article. Finally, I got to the point where I started considering my actions and all my anger. At this point, I began letting in the Lord into my heart again. But, I didn’t truly break down and repent just yet. Next, I remember not being able to fall asleep one night. I was of course on the internet chatting and I start hearing screams of pain and torture. They were screams that you would hear from somebody being hurt incredibly bad, shrieking screams. I ran into my parent’s room, waking them up as I ran into their room. I honestly thought something was wrong with my parents. When I realized they were okay, I asked them to pray with me. Now always remember Satan doesn’t give up anybody unto the Kingdom of Heaven. A few nights after this experience, I experienced something even scarier. I woke up in the middle of the night. When I glanced at my nightstand I saw a swirling column of smoke. I ran upstairs and woke up my parents at about 2am in the morning. They prayed with me at that time. It was evident in my mind now that the Lord was still holding onto me, this sinner who He loved so dearly. I broke down the next few days and asked the Lord to restore me unto His fold. I repented of these actions with all my heart. Surely, everything was fine right?
Not all was fine. Always remember if Satan can’t get you one way, he will be sure to try and manage to get to you another way. I began getting sick. I would fall asleep but, not really be asleep. I would be stuck in a different state of sleep. I was alert and could hear what was going on around me. I could hear others (my family) while they conversed together. But, I couldn’t wake up. I was stuck in this state in which I was terrified, cold, and cornered. I remember specifically being terrified because; it felt so dark, where my mind was at that moment. No matter how much I tried to wake myself out of this state, I couldn’t. In fact, many of my family members would notice that I would begin twitching and shaking in my sleep. I would even begin to whimper and literally cry tears down my cheek. Their attempts to wake me up wouldn’t work. I was literally stuck in this state. It’s hard to describe but, those of you who have experienced this type of phenomenon, know exactly what I’m talking about. During the same time, I began feeling exhausted and weaker. Soon I would be diagnosed with an “unexplained” Iron deficiency Anemia. I started collapsing due to my weakness. Friends, so much happened to my health. All a result of anger and rebellion, it truly is a shame. I was soon diagnosed with “Narcolepsy with Cataplexy.” **If any of you happen to have been diagnosed with this illness please email me personally. I would love to let you know what I am doing in order to be able to control this problem. Please email me at [email protected] After much medication, research, and prayer is more of a spiritual problem, if you want my opinion. My opinion is completely based on my personal experiences.
The part that was the hardest for me to overcome was the guilt factor. You see, Jesus always forgives us our trespasses so long as we repent. But, we have a great enemy who makes sure to make our hearts feel heavy with guilt. If we are burdened with guilt, we can’t get close to Christ. In a way, if we allow the guilt to eat away at us; we are in a way stating Christ’s sacrifice isn’t sufficient for us. If that’s the case, then this is all a waste of time. Right? But, Jesus was the perfect sacrifice! Satan would make me feel worthless and ugly. I went into this depression that would last about 7 years. I didn’t want to go to church since; I didn’t feel worthy to even attend. I didn’t want to engage in family activities because, I felt disconnected to everything. Everything except the guilt. So many times I would pray to the Lord to help me forgive myself but, I just couldn’t. I knew that I had rebelled against the Almighty. I knew what I had done. I knew that I was wrong. I knew that I had rejected His soft, still voice so many times. I knew I was wrong in everything I had felt. But, I just couldn’t find myself worthy of the Cross. I can’t remember exactly when it happened. I had decided that I wanted to go to church. I took my kids (now three kids), to church. They enjoyed it greatly. I felt so moved by the sermons that I would end up in tears. I felt the Lord speaking to my heart. It didn’t happen immediately. But, slowly the next year would be a turnaround in my life. I began associating myself with positive people in church. They actually seemed to want to talk with me. Of course, I will be the first to admit that there are “fakers” and “hypocrites” out in the church. But, ALL churches have them. They are positioned there by our enemy, to turn us away! But, if you take the time to filter the people, you will always find real “treasures” in the church group.
Now behind the stage, I was beginning to realize that the scary movies weren’t the best for my mind. The rock music wasn’t the best for my mind. I had flooded my mind with so much negativity that I had literally drowned my own soul in this darkness. It was a hard thing to stop listening to my music. I had very liberal parents and was allowed to listen to anything and everything. So, I always found a dark relieve in music. But, when I finally stopped listening to the stuff, I began to heal. Movies were fairly easy for me to give up. But, I did struggle with the music. I would justify as much of it as I could. I remember my favorite band had “angels” in the name of the band. I would literally, argue with others about the band. Surely, if it had “angels” in their name, they couldn’t be too bad. One day as I was listening to the music in my car, the Lord impressed me to really listen to the lyrics. The profanity in the songs stuck out like never before. I made the decision to just get it over with and throw away the CD’s. I started feeling better. Of course I still had many ailments I was dealing with for the next 2 years. I had blood transfusions, iron transfusions, tests, etc… but, as crazy as it sounds, I was feeling better. With this Narcolepsy I was put on amphetamines, to control “episodes”. This of course led to an addiction for this medication. An addiction I would spend another year fighting to wean off. Friends, rebellion isn’t worth all these obstacles. I won’t inundate you with the list of “problems” I deal with daily regarding my health. I will tell you that Christ is so reaching out His arms to you. He loves you with the purest love ever to be felt. He wants to heal you and make you feel better. He knows your pain and trials. I remember specifically a passage that was the first to change my mentality. Allow me to provide it for you below.
“Many, walking along the path of life, dwell upon their mistakes and failures and disappointments, and their hearts are filled with grief and discouragement. While I was in Europe, a sister who had been doing this, and who was in deep distress, wrote to me, asking for
some word of encouragement. The night after I had read her letter I dreamed that I was in a garden, and one who seemed to be the owner of the garden was conducting me through its paths. I was gathering the flowers and enjoying their fragrance, when this sister, who had been
walking by my side, called my attention to some unsightly briers that were impeding her way. There she was mourning and grieving. She was not walking in the pathway, following the guide, but was walking among the briers and thorns. "Oh," she mourned, "is it not a pity that this beautiful garden is spoiled with thorns?" Then the guide said, "Let the thorns alone, for they will only wound you. Gather the roses, the lilies, and the pinks."
Have there not been some bright spots in your experience? Have you not had some precious seasons when your heart throbbed with joy in response to the Spirit of God? When you look back into the chapters of your life experience do you not find some pleasant pages? Are not God's promises, like the fragrant flowers, growing beside your path on every hand? Will you not let their beauty and sweetness fill your heart with joy? The briers and thorns will only wound and grieve you; and if you gather only these things, and present them to others, are you not, besides slighting the goodness of God yourself, preventing those around you from walking in the path of life?
It is not wise to gather together all the unpleasant recollections of a past life,—its iniquities and disappointments,—to talk over them and mourn over them until we are overwhelmed with discouragement. A discouraged soul is filled with darkness, shutting out the light of God from his own soul and casting a shadow upon the pathway of others Thank God for the bright pictures which He has presented to us. Let us group together the blessed assurances of His love, that we may look upon them continually: The Son of God leaving His Father's throne, clothing His divinity with humanity, that He might rescue man from the power of Satan; His triumph in our behalf, opening heaven to men, revealing to human vision the presence chamber where the Deity unveils His glory; the fallen race uplifted from the pit of ruin into which sin had plunged it, and brought again into connection with the infinite God, and having endured the divine test through faith in our Redeemer, clothed in the righteousness of Christ, and exalted to His throne—these are the pictures which God would have us contemplate.” (Steps to Christ p.117-118)
Friend, this whole world is filled with negativity. Movies, music, conversations, news, magazines, etc… All are focused on dark things. When we completely understand these things and the controversy of good vs. evil we realize that we have flooded ourselves with darkness. I had enough of it and turned to Christ. Now, I am finally relying on a better diet, daily study of the Word, continual prayer, ministries, and attempting to praise Him for what He has done for me. God is so good to us. Surely, if anything I have learned a few things. The first major lesson I understood is that nothing is coincidence. Such a word as this doesn’t exist in my vocabulary. I have even “banned” it from our home. Coincidence is a very dangerous term. I would rather live with the concept that the Lord’s will is what we tend to experience, not a coincidence. God puts us in other’s lives for a reason. He also places people in our lives for a reason. Nothing is better than the Lord’s timing for His timing is perfect! I also learned that the Lord never works as we expect Him to, or even how we would like him to in our lives. I am convinced that when we experience these hard obstacles in life, it is for a reason. Remember, the Lord is the refiner of silver and gold. These metals can only be purified by extreme heat. But, what’s interesting is that once the metal is purified, then the refiner can see his reflection in it. Have you ever looked at a silver spoon and saw your reflection in it? That is exactly what the Lord is doing to us. He is ready to come soon and He is refining like never before. But, it’s not to torture us or make our lives miserable. It’s because, He loves you that much that He wants you to spend Eternity with Him. Remember the key with refining such metals is the heat and cooling down process. Just as the refiner knows what heat would be too hot for the metal, and would ruin it; so does the Lord know your limits. Think positive! Jesus died for you and He loves you so dearly. It is my prayer that my testimony has helped you in some way. May the Lord rain showers of blessings upon you and your family.
After I signed my papers of divorced in January of 2001, I felt so free. I was able to take my children to church on Sabbath without having to argue it out with my “husband”. I had wanted to go on a vegetarian diet for many years and now that we were separated there was nothing that
would separate me from my dearest desire as a woman and a mother. This desire was to finally walk with Christ. To have a relationship with Him, that would lift up my sadness. I was looking forward to finally taking that breathe of fresh air, spiritual fresh air. I remember during the first two months of 2001, it had rained quite a bit. As my two children, at the time, were asleep I sneaked outside just to drench myself in this pure rain. I remember feeling as though I had received more than just a physical rain but, a spiritual rain also. I cried so much in the rain asking for help. I was free from my responsibilities as a wife. But, now I had to deal with a whole new set of responsibilities. I just wanted to better the lives for the children and myself. The next few weeks I felt like I was walking on “Cloud #9” with the Lord. I got up every morning before the sun would come up and would study the Bible for a couple of hours at least. The children and I began a vegetarian diet and they actually loved it. I was becoming calmer and wanted to be a great mother and I was doing a great job doing so. I felt as if nothing could push me off this incandescent feeling I was experiencing. Surely, I wasn’t prepared for what was going to happen to me. At the moment, I had only two kids not, three. So, my two eldest went to visit their father. Now keep in mind that I felt I was so solid in the foundation of Christ, that nothing…absolutely nothing would shake me. Well, my children got back from their father’s home in California. Please understand that this is a very hard story to write so, for the privacy of my family, I will be limited as to what I will share in this portion of the story. I am a mother and protecting my children is my priority. My son tells me that his father had hurt him while on their visit. I was so upset and bewildered as to why the Lord allow such a thing to occur. Suddenly I was shaken and my solid foundation crumbled instantly. I won’t repeat what I said out loud to the Lord, for I know that he must have felt the pain in His heart. I know my guardian angel must have wept great tears with what I was saying. I was so angry. I thought, here I was doing what He asked of me and yet He couldn’t even prevent this from happening! I didn’t feel betrayed by another human. I felt betrayed by a Loving God.
It’s amazing how Satan seems to see the tiniest crack in your walk with the Lord and does everything to pry it open and cause a great barrier between God and His children. Well, he certainly did so in my case. The bitterness and anger that grew within my heart became so overwhelming that I finally decided that if the Lord couldn’t take care of my children and secure them within His arms, then surely I had to take charge. Please understand I am not praising this type of thinking at all. I am just trying to let you in to how I was feeling. I am sure that many have felt this way…many times. Anyhow, I put my foot down and decided that I was going to find God somewhere else. I read a lot of material that I knew what wrong. It’s always interesting how selfish and rebellious we become with anger. Even hearing the small still voice of the Lord saying…don’t read that, I would purposely read it. I knew it was wrong and many of the articles made me cringe at their explanation of life but, I still kept feeding this garbage to my soul. After many websites, I came across an occult practice known as Wicca. It’s a form of witchcraft. But, it’s known as “white magic”, which according to the term is not as bad as black magic. A bit of trickery of words if you ask me. But, at the moment I bought the idea and let it in. I never got into the real practice of this magic but, I did feed my brain many things that should have not even been looked upon. “For what we behold, we become changed”. Many have heard this saying but, do we truly really understand the depth of the phrase?
It seemed almost overnight that I began to hear voices. It was strange voices that I had never heard before in my life. I remember I would try and focus in on this conversation going on in my mind but, I couldn’t seem to understand the words. I remember hearing these voices laugh and a particular voice of a woman laughing wickedly. So, many times I would ask my sister or my mother what was so funny. I would accuse them of the spontaneous laughing but, they seemed dumbfounded as to my accusations, since they weren’t laughing at all. At approximately the same time, I started to fall asleep a lot during the day. It was uncontrollable sleeping spells. It was out of my control and soon I started taking “meds” for this excessive daytime sleepiness. I couldn’t function at all. I would wake up in the morning and fall asleep within half an hour of awakening. This became my schedule. I would wake up for 30 minutes, go to sleep for 2 hours, wake up for 30 minutes, then go back to sleep for 2 hours, etc… Literally this lack of energy took control of my life. I was unfocused and couldn’t comprehend simple things. I couldn’t concentrate on a conversation of any kind. As I heard these voices, I began thinking that perhaps I was going crazy. I literally considered checking myself into a psych ward since; it was getting worse every day. I got to the point that I didn’t acknowledge people who were talking to me because, I got used to the fact that it was the voices in my head. Does that make sense? After speaking to my parents, we prayed and tried to figure out what to do with this condition. Keep in mind that I hadn’t told my parents of my recent studies in Wicca. So, they were literally confused as to what was going on with their daughter.
It didn’t stop there, friends. Soon, I began feeling “something” touch me throughout the day, particularly before I would fall asleep. I would have anxiety attacks in bed that paralyzed me and I was unable to move. I wouldn’t be able to talk or scream for help. But, I would feel my body being touched by something, similar to human hands. I would feel the presence of something over me and around me. I would even be able to hear “breathing” of some kind near my neck and face. I can distinctly remember that I continually heard “Don’t go there…” in my mind. The Lord was continually warning me to not go there and read that article. Finally, I got to the point where I started considering my actions and all my anger. At this point, I began letting in the Lord into my heart again. But, I didn’t truly break down and repent just yet. Next, I remember not being able to fall asleep one night. I was of course on the internet chatting and I start hearing screams of pain and torture. They were screams that you would hear from somebody being hurt incredibly bad, shrieking screams. I ran into my parent’s room, waking them up as I ran into their room. I honestly thought something was wrong with my parents. When I realized they were okay, I asked them to pray with me. Now always remember Satan doesn’t give up anybody unto the Kingdom of Heaven. A few nights after this experience, I experienced something even scarier. I woke up in the middle of the night. When I glanced at my nightstand I saw a swirling column of smoke. I ran upstairs and woke up my parents at about 2am in the morning. They prayed with me at that time. It was evident in my mind now that the Lord was still holding onto me, this sinner who He loved so dearly. I broke down the next few days and asked the Lord to restore me unto His fold. I repented of these actions with all my heart. Surely, everything was fine right?
Not all was fine. Always remember if Satan can’t get you one way, he will be sure to try and manage to get to you another way. I began getting sick. I would fall asleep but, not really be asleep. I would be stuck in a different state of sleep. I was alert and could hear what was going on around me. I could hear others (my family) while they conversed together. But, I couldn’t wake up. I was stuck in this state in which I was terrified, cold, and cornered. I remember specifically being terrified because; it felt so dark, where my mind was at that moment. No matter how much I tried to wake myself out of this state, I couldn’t. In fact, many of my family members would notice that I would begin twitching and shaking in my sleep. I would even begin to whimper and literally cry tears down my cheek. Their attempts to wake me up wouldn’t work. I was literally stuck in this state. It’s hard to describe but, those of you who have experienced this type of phenomenon, know exactly what I’m talking about. During the same time, I began feeling exhausted and weaker. Soon I would be diagnosed with an “unexplained” Iron deficiency Anemia. I started collapsing due to my weakness. Friends, so much happened to my health. All a result of anger and rebellion, it truly is a shame. I was soon diagnosed with “Narcolepsy with Cataplexy.” **If any of you happen to have been diagnosed with this illness please email me personally. I would love to let you know what I am doing in order to be able to control this problem. Please email me at [email protected] After much medication, research, and prayer is more of a spiritual problem, if you want my opinion. My opinion is completely based on my personal experiences.
The part that was the hardest for me to overcome was the guilt factor. You see, Jesus always forgives us our trespasses so long as we repent. But, we have a great enemy who makes sure to make our hearts feel heavy with guilt. If we are burdened with guilt, we can’t get close to Christ. In a way, if we allow the guilt to eat away at us; we are in a way stating Christ’s sacrifice isn’t sufficient for us. If that’s the case, then this is all a waste of time. Right? But, Jesus was the perfect sacrifice! Satan would make me feel worthless and ugly. I went into this depression that would last about 7 years. I didn’t want to go to church since; I didn’t feel worthy to even attend. I didn’t want to engage in family activities because, I felt disconnected to everything. Everything except the guilt. So many times I would pray to the Lord to help me forgive myself but, I just couldn’t. I knew that I had rebelled against the Almighty. I knew what I had done. I knew that I was wrong. I knew that I had rejected His soft, still voice so many times. I knew I was wrong in everything I had felt. But, I just couldn’t find myself worthy of the Cross. I can’t remember exactly when it happened. I had decided that I wanted to go to church. I took my kids (now three kids), to church. They enjoyed it greatly. I felt so moved by the sermons that I would end up in tears. I felt the Lord speaking to my heart. It didn’t happen immediately. But, slowly the next year would be a turnaround in my life. I began associating myself with positive people in church. They actually seemed to want to talk with me. Of course, I will be the first to admit that there are “fakers” and “hypocrites” out in the church. But, ALL churches have them. They are positioned there by our enemy, to turn us away! But, if you take the time to filter the people, you will always find real “treasures” in the church group.
Now behind the stage, I was beginning to realize that the scary movies weren’t the best for my mind. The rock music wasn’t the best for my mind. I had flooded my mind with so much negativity that I had literally drowned my own soul in this darkness. It was a hard thing to stop listening to my music. I had very liberal parents and was allowed to listen to anything and everything. So, I always found a dark relieve in music. But, when I finally stopped listening to the stuff, I began to heal. Movies were fairly easy for me to give up. But, I did struggle with the music. I would justify as much of it as I could. I remember my favorite band had “angels” in the name of the band. I would literally, argue with others about the band. Surely, if it had “angels” in their name, they couldn’t be too bad. One day as I was listening to the music in my car, the Lord impressed me to really listen to the lyrics. The profanity in the songs stuck out like never before. I made the decision to just get it over with and throw away the CD’s. I started feeling better. Of course I still had many ailments I was dealing with for the next 2 years. I had blood transfusions, iron transfusions, tests, etc… but, as crazy as it sounds, I was feeling better. With this Narcolepsy I was put on amphetamines, to control “episodes”. This of course led to an addiction for this medication. An addiction I would spend another year fighting to wean off. Friends, rebellion isn’t worth all these obstacles. I won’t inundate you with the list of “problems” I deal with daily regarding my health. I will tell you that Christ is so reaching out His arms to you. He loves you with the purest love ever to be felt. He wants to heal you and make you feel better. He knows your pain and trials. I remember specifically a passage that was the first to change my mentality. Allow me to provide it for you below.
“Many, walking along the path of life, dwell upon their mistakes and failures and disappointments, and their hearts are filled with grief and discouragement. While I was in Europe, a sister who had been doing this, and who was in deep distress, wrote to me, asking for
some word of encouragement. The night after I had read her letter I dreamed that I was in a garden, and one who seemed to be the owner of the garden was conducting me through its paths. I was gathering the flowers and enjoying their fragrance, when this sister, who had been
walking by my side, called my attention to some unsightly briers that were impeding her way. There she was mourning and grieving. She was not walking in the pathway, following the guide, but was walking among the briers and thorns. "Oh," she mourned, "is it not a pity that this beautiful garden is spoiled with thorns?" Then the guide said, "Let the thorns alone, for they will only wound you. Gather the roses, the lilies, and the pinks."
Have there not been some bright spots in your experience? Have you not had some precious seasons when your heart throbbed with joy in response to the Spirit of God? When you look back into the chapters of your life experience do you not find some pleasant pages? Are not God's promises, like the fragrant flowers, growing beside your path on every hand? Will you not let their beauty and sweetness fill your heart with joy? The briers and thorns will only wound and grieve you; and if you gather only these things, and present them to others, are you not, besides slighting the goodness of God yourself, preventing those around you from walking in the path of life?
It is not wise to gather together all the unpleasant recollections of a past life,—its iniquities and disappointments,—to talk over them and mourn over them until we are overwhelmed with discouragement. A discouraged soul is filled with darkness, shutting out the light of God from his own soul and casting a shadow upon the pathway of others Thank God for the bright pictures which He has presented to us. Let us group together the blessed assurances of His love, that we may look upon them continually: The Son of God leaving His Father's throne, clothing His divinity with humanity, that He might rescue man from the power of Satan; His triumph in our behalf, opening heaven to men, revealing to human vision the presence chamber where the Deity unveils His glory; the fallen race uplifted from the pit of ruin into which sin had plunged it, and brought again into connection with the infinite God, and having endured the divine test through faith in our Redeemer, clothed in the righteousness of Christ, and exalted to His throne—these are the pictures which God would have us contemplate.” (Steps to Christ p.117-118)
Friend, this whole world is filled with negativity. Movies, music, conversations, news, magazines, etc… All are focused on dark things. When we completely understand these things and the controversy of good vs. evil we realize that we have flooded ourselves with darkness. I had enough of it and turned to Christ. Now, I am finally relying on a better diet, daily study of the Word, continual prayer, ministries, and attempting to praise Him for what He has done for me. God is so good to us. Surely, if anything I have learned a few things. The first major lesson I understood is that nothing is coincidence. Such a word as this doesn’t exist in my vocabulary. I have even “banned” it from our home. Coincidence is a very dangerous term. I would rather live with the concept that the Lord’s will is what we tend to experience, not a coincidence. God puts us in other’s lives for a reason. He also places people in our lives for a reason. Nothing is better than the Lord’s timing for His timing is perfect! I also learned that the Lord never works as we expect Him to, or even how we would like him to in our lives. I am convinced that when we experience these hard obstacles in life, it is for a reason. Remember, the Lord is the refiner of silver and gold. These metals can only be purified by extreme heat. But, what’s interesting is that once the metal is purified, then the refiner can see his reflection in it. Have you ever looked at a silver spoon and saw your reflection in it? That is exactly what the Lord is doing to us. He is ready to come soon and He is refining like never before. But, it’s not to torture us or make our lives miserable. It’s because, He loves you that much that He wants you to spend Eternity with Him. Remember the key with refining such metals is the heat and cooling down process. Just as the refiner knows what heat would be too hot for the metal, and would ruin it; so does the Lord know your limits. Think positive! Jesus died for you and He loves you so dearly. It is my prayer that my testimony has helped you in some way. May the Lord rain showers of blessings upon you and your family.